Tell us a Bit About yourself

I’m from North Carolina in the USA, but live in Wisconsin. I’m married with four kids, all of whom are disabled in various ways. I run a super duper small business from my home, as well as being the primary carer for my kids. My husband works a LOT but is really good about helping me with housework.

What led you to become a Christian?

I was raised southern Baptist and then fell away, did about a decade as an atheist and then my 4th child almost died at just over 2 weeks old. God met me at the hospital and I’ve walked with Jesus since.

Was that through people caring for you?

No actually, I felt so horribly ignored by doctors. It was by His grace that someone finally listened. Baby4 was on deaths door when we got to the hospital, he’d dropped a pound over the week. I had 2 different doctors tell me he was fine and “babies spit up” but he had pyloric stenosis and was listing everything he ate. I audibly heard God tell me to take him to the ER that night, pleaded to God the whole way to the hospital. My son was transferred to a higher level care hospital and we did 5 days there. He’s fine now!

How does your neurodiversity affect your experience of church?

I find it hard to know the flow of church sometimes, even after being at the same one for years they’ll seamlessly move into prayer and I’m like “ope” after a few moments when I realize everyone is praying.

We do worship with the house lights down, and I go to an Assembly of God church now so my stimming is seen as joyful praise (which it is). Southern Baptist was MUCH more traditional and stuck to traditional music and no one danced around.

My church also holds “DNA nights” which are 4 Mondays in a row where they teach the history and culture of our church, lay out the “unspoken rules” such as who can and can not be in service position, as well as if you serve your spouse also has to serve. They lay out how to get into service positions and such too.

Kids ministry is laid out where my kids are in their own age and they have an autism program – though so far my autistic kids haven’t had to utilize it.

Being encouraged to be vocal can be a double edged sword, some days I’m more outgoing but others I’m like please just let me give my claps and be done lol .

It was really hard as an undiagnosed kid, because I was ALWAYS saying something “wrong” and I have questions about lots of things. It does help that as an adult I’ve been able to research on my own and don’t have to actually ask the pastor anything directly 😅 

Our tithing is done online so no pressure to remember cash or shame in people seeing what I give.

Communion is taken on your own, only at Wednesday service, you just grab as you walk in to the auditorium there’s no call for people to come to front all at once AND they just use grape juice, I hate alcohol & even a tiny bit makes me feel icky.

How do you best connect with God?

Worship music & casual conversation – separate from intentional prayer, I just say whatever comes to mind; I like to ask him questions. Even sometimes it sounds like when someone’s “gossiping / venting” but straight to God.

Are there things that others assume should work for you and really don’t?

Reading the Bible on my own is super difficult and before I started accommodating that I felt frustrated and far from Him. Now I use audio readings. My Church teaches expositionally  so they dont do “sermons” where it’s super preachy they mostly just teach the Bible & explain what it means.

I find it difficult to go to group meetings at church like the life groups because of being Autistic specifically. I don’t like to talk unless I know someone really well. And being in a social setting while trying to let God work on me is hard because I mirror people. So if I just mirror the whole entire time I leave the group feeling like I blacked out and got nothing from it.

That sounds hard. Have you found any workarounds for that?

Nope, except for a zoom based Bible study.

I connected with a mom on Tik Tok who’s got autistic kids and I joined her Bible study. We became good friends ☺️

So does Zoom work better than in person then?

Yeah zoom works better than in person for me. I can turn the camera off and I don’t feel like I’m being perceived.

How can others best make you feel welcome?

Unsure really. It’s hard because I feel welcome enough in my church. They have greeters when you enter that say hi and they have a couple help desks I can go to if I need something. The woman who takes my order all the time at the coffee shop has memorized it and my name lol.

If you could change one thing about your church, what would it be?

For them to not bash cannabis in the same breath they’re bashing alcohol. One is a medicine that frankly MANY autistic people use and it is the only reason I ever feel bad about myself at church. I make sure I only use legal hemp products, and yet still often feel condemned for it.

Are there things you would like to do in church but feel unable to?

I’m not able to serve at church on the teams like hosting, worship, kids ect because I use cannabis.

I find other ways to serve like providing food for potlucks and donating to the market pantry.

What has most helped you grow as a Christian?

God just continues to bless me and show me He’s always been around.

And I found a Christian friend that helps with accountability and is about a year ahead of me in being saved.

Is There ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO ADD?

I think I just want to add that people should understand that faith is sometimes a conscious choice, not a feeling or a constant state of being. There’s days I have to just say I CHOOSE to believe this. If that makes sense. Like you can poke holes if you choose to, I choose not to. I don’t always feel super close to and filled with the Holy Spirit; and on those days my faith is a choice that I consciously make. And that’s okay. It’s like loving your partner, you’re not always going to FEEL so madly in fire and in love, it’s that way with God too. It’s something you have to put effort into to not become stagnant. I think that can be hard for neurodivergent people.

KACEY

I’m 28; I’m married with four kids. I have autism, ADHD, PTSD and hEDS (a rare condition that causes joint pain). In childhood I was mis-diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

‘It was really hard as an undiagnosed kid, because I was ALWAYS saying something “wrong” and I have questions about lots of things.’